Monday, December 20, 2010

"It’s hard to Pretend that your OK, even you're not"

n the past, I thought love is patient and willing to wait till the end. But after almost 18 years in Canada, I realized that true love really hurts, especially if you saw the person you love has found someone else. A promise indeed is made to be broken. It’s hard to pretend that you’re happy but deep inside, your heart is aching. It’s just like you’re hit by thousands of needles. *major ouch*

When I was young, I had a friend named Robert. Actually he’s my best friend. However, as time goes by I felt something different for him. Yet, I’m really shy to tell him the truth, that I have a crush on him.

He’s a good looking guy with teary eyes and fair complexion. Actually, he has all the traits I’m looking for a guy. But then, there’s a single problem. At that time, I was about to migrate to Canada to manage my dad’s Wholesale Clothing business.

Just the same, I told Robert how I felt about him. I told him he was everything I was looking for in a guy. I was surprised because he hugged me too tight and gave me a cute bracelet, asking me to keep it until the day I came back from Canada. He told me that no matter how many years it will take, he’s willing to wait for me.

Fast forward to 18 years, I came back to San Diego due to a financial crisis. My dad’s wholesale clothing business went bankrupt. I came back to the old house and looked if Robert was still there. But instead of finding Robert, I saw a girl named Jane. I asked her about Robert and according to her, Robert is her boyfriend. After long years of waiting, I realized that I’m so stupid.

It was only then that I finally gave in to the long years of pain and sadness I felt of being away from Robert. Tears fell down from my eyes, and I didn’t even bother to stop it. When Robert finally came, I pretend that was ok. I forced myself to be happy for him, but I just can’t. When I left their house, I left a part of me in there. I’m still trying to get back the love I lost until now. I still love him so much. Yet, it’s hard to accept the truth that his heart belongs to another woman.


  1. Oh thats sad but i think that the best thing for you to do is be happy for him or you can maby tell him how you still feel about him

  2. i know the feeling....very very very very undescribable pain inside.
    Good luck

  3. i know what you are going through....
    good luck on your gets better eventually...but the love never goes away.
    i also think you should tell how you feel.
    I'm sure you will feel better then.

  4. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends.... Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.